Sooner or later this old dog has to learn some new tricks, like how to run a blog, how to control the controller on the TV, and what the sign “check engine soon” means on the car dashboard. Who knew that I had to put the gas tank cap back on really tightly?

Do not mention the wiry tangle that controls the water system for the yard.  Programming the house thermostat is beyond me because the lettering is so small that I can’t even read it with a magnifying glass  Just talk to me using  the acronyms/jargon of technology and watch the silly grin spread across my face, the dumb grin I saw on  Spanish-speaking Julio Iglesias face when Johnny Carson interviewed him in native-speed English on the Tonight Show.  The goofy/spacey look that says, “I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

I have learned to recharge my cell phone, however, and turn off the alarm on the fridge door.  Besides, everyone knows that there is only so much space in one’s head for technological claptrap, and I don’t want to trigger Alzheimer’s by overcrowding my cranium.  I need to save space for important things like whether or not Brock Lesnar will succeed in cage fighting or whether or not con trails are causing infertility and autism.

The good thing about being older is the old ploy:  “I can’t see very well.  Would you please help me?”  I don’t have to admit that I don’t know where the trunk-release button is on my Grand Am or why there’s a pair of baggy panties stuck to right back leg of my newly washed polyester pants.

It’s hard to cover up not remembering your zip code or your new address.  So, I carry a recent letter addressed to me in my purse so I can quickly check where I live.  And, when necessary, check who I am.

You?  What old-dog-new tricks do you use to ease yourself through your senior years?  Do, please, share.

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